VG Radio (August 2022)

By Stevie - Based on the Original "VG Radio" Series by Andrew

VG Radio is a fictional parody and satirical podcast centered around the video game industry and general internet culture.

This episode highlights Nintendo’s infamy for issuing DMCA takedowns on fan passion projects, by creating an exaggerated reality where Nintendo forbids the drawing of its characters and other intellectual property without obtaining express permission and authorization.

This episode premiered August 24, 2022, and was written, recorded, and edited by me. 

Guest appearances for this show included StateOfCrisis as the EAS Operator, and Seimuc as the Amazon Prime Ad Read.

You’re listening, to VG Radio.

[INTRO TRACK. Short fade out.]

Last month, we reported that Nintendo was likely to announce changes to their copyright protection policies sometime soon. Well that soon is now!

Per a recently issued press release, Nintendo will now issue DMCA takedowns on unauthorized drawings and other forms of visual imagery that contain any reference to its Intellectual Properties. Please note that this updated policy applies to those under the governing laws of the United States of America. For those outside the United States, it is advised that you tune in to your respective local or national VG Radio news station, to see how these changes may affect you.

Effective immediately, those found drawing or creating other visual works based on Nintendo’s Properties will face a $10,000 fine, and possible court litigation. Those interested in creating fanart that uses or references Nintendo’s Intellectual Properties must first obtain proper approval though the Nintendo Department of Licensing.

Submissions for approval will require a $30 application fee, and a detailed written explanation of what the drawing will be. If the Department of Licensing approves your submission, you would then be free to create the piece of fan art that you had described. Once it is completed, the image may not be posted anywhere until the finished piece is sent to the Department of Licensing, and approved for public posting.

That’s quite a lot and, there’s a bit more to digest, so before we go any further, let’s take a look at today’s weather: [MUSIC starts playing]

[MUSIC abruptly stops]

Woops! Sorry about that everyone, not sure how today’s first song snuck into the weather report, but don’t worry, we’ll get to the music in just a moment. For today’s weather, expect a risk of high latency and notably increased queue times. Depending on your location, you may also be susceptible to power outages. Either way, everyone is advised to plug their electronics into UL certified surge protector, to reduce the risk of damage to sensitive electrical equipment. Tune in later tonight for an updated weather report.

But back to our current news story.

Following their most recent press release, Nintendo published the following guidelines to give fanart submission the best chance for approval. Items that are sexual, suggestive, vulgar, or mature in nature are likely to be immediately rejected.

For example, an image of Mario at the beach is not inherently sexual or suggestive, and may be approved. That same image of Mario at the beach, except his nipples are visible, may be considered to be suggestive, and will likely be rejected.

Items that depict other fictional or real world brands, copyrights, mascots, or iconography not belonging to the Nintendo IP, will be immediately rejected.

For example, Princess Peach having a non-branded coffee at a vague non-branded coffee shop will likely be approved. That same image of Princess Peach with a Starbucks branded coffee and exposed nipples – will almost certainly be rejected. For multiple reasons.

Artists are encouraged to depict Nintendo properties in ways that general audiences may expect. For example, an image of Kirby in fierce (non-gory) battle with Meta Knight is something that audiences may expect. An image of Kirby and Meta Knight passionately kissing in an open field under the dim morning Sun, displaying their love and affection for one another in a way that only they can understand, thinking nothing of the world around them, for their entire world is currently tightly wrapped in their arms, caressing each other, expressing this raw display of passionate human emotion, feeling nothing but the heat and warmth of the others body, and the sheer ecstasy of the events that are to follow… will almost certainly be rejected. This particular guideline comes with a message from Shigeru Miyamoto himself, saying simply “Please do not do that.”

Hopefully these guidelines will help you all in getting your fan art request submissions approved. I know it certainly helped me. I’ve already drafted a request for a drawing of Link in a (non-suggestive) maid dress, walking through a long corridor of Hyrule Castle, looking out through a window into the vast fields that lie beyond the stoned walls of the Castle. The actual description gets a little more technical than that, describing lighting conditions, framing, color pallets – things like that. We’ll see if it gets approved!

Before getting to today’s music, lets break away from this story for a quick moment to talk about today’s traffic:

Servers for Sony and Microsoft appear to be overwhelmed and flooded with requests, and have been temporarily shut down. Those wishing to take an alternate path for today may find themselves going through Nintendo’s servers, but you probably know what you’re getting yourself into, those servers haven’t been updated in an incredibly long time, and simply weren’t designed to handle high amounts of traffic at long distances, though some have even reported having issues when the distance is relatively short, so perhaps these servers weren’t designed to handle traffic at all.

In the event that you missed last month’s broadcast where we first detailed the possibility of Nintendo updating their DMCA takedown policies, today’s news might feel quite sudden, and unexpected. Developments to this story in prior weeks were not provided as, there were no additional developments to report. We were and are currently unable to reach executives from Nintendo of America, Nintendo of Europe, or Nintendo Headquarters, for comment. Mostly because we’re not really trying too… our resources have been incredibly limited since the [ lag ] happened three months ago, and we are instead focused on the reliable, continued transmission of video game news. Though most other video game journalists, with their vast, wide resources, would likely produce a report of equal or lesser quality. The bar for video game journalism is incredibly low.

[Tone Shift] We were however able to contact former President of Nintendo of America, Reggie FilsAime, when he was placed into a Fortnite Duo’s Squad with one of our writers. As the two of them dropped off the Battle Bus directly into titled towers, our writer had asked Reggie his thoughts on Nintendo’s updated IP protection policies. Reggie stated, “It’s hard to say why Nintendo has taken this more focused stance on protecting their properties. It’ll be interesting to see how the community responds to-“ Reggie was then interrupted by a sniper shot several hundred meters away, narrowly missing him, but striking our writer in the head, knocking him down instantly. Communication then switched from the topic of Nintendo’s DMCA actions, to shot calling and pinpointing enemy positions. Reggie and our writer managed to finish in third place, only just barely getting beat out by the winning team.

More to come, after this sponsored message.

VG Radio is brought to you by T-Mobile, America’s largest, fastest, and most reliable 5G network. They’re not only a financial sponsor our show, but also the main provider of our staffs’ cell phone and home internet service. Ever since I made the switch to T-Mobile as my home internet provider, I could not be more satisfied. My previous internet service providers would overcharge and underdeliver on their service, and be incredibly difficult to contact for support. With T-Mobile, I only pay 50 dollars a month for home internet, with speeds of up to 200 mega bites per second. And if you need to contact support, there’s no going through a series of phone menus and being transferred from one line to another for hours and hours, just call one number, and be connected to a support agent. T-Mobile, America’s leader in 5G LTE, bringing you America’s largest, fastest, and most reliable 5G [Screen Freezes.]

[Hard Cut to the middle of the first sentence] Welcome back from today’s sponsored message. Coming up soon, we have a unique mix of carefully curated video game related tracks. Before we get to that, I have some exciting news. It appears as though there is an incredibly short wait time between the submission of an art request and its approval! During the sponsored segment, I received a notice from Nintendo’s Department of Licensing, saying that my application had been approved! I’ve already begun sketching it out and I really wish that you could see it. If we were still in our previous studio, I’d be able to show you all how it’s coming along, though perhaps not, as that might be a violation of posting something before the official posting approval is obtained through the Department of Licensing. On that note, it is still unknown what the penalties are for prematurely posting a work before it is approved for posting by the Department of Licensing. As soon as we find out, we’ll let you know.

Let’s move on now to economics and financial news.

Investors appear to be rallying behind Nintendo’s new copyright policies, pushing the company up 30% from last week. This is the largest short-term increase in the company’s stock price since July 2016, where Nintendo released “Pokemon Go”. Those interested in following these stock developments may use the ticker N T D O Y, or N T D O F. If you are unsure of what the difference is, don’t worry, you’re not alone.

Nintendo is a foreign company based in Japan, where it is primarily traded on the Tokyo Stock Exchange. Shares of Nintendo are available for purchase on U.S. stock exchanges through the use of ADR’s, or American Depositary Receipts. An ADR is a certificate issued by a U.S. depositary bank, representing a certain number of shares in a company. These ADR’s then function identically to stocks, rising and falling in an ever shifting, ever changing financial market. Nintendo has two ADR’s! N T D O Y and N T D O F. The main difference between these two listings is their price. N T D O F represents the full value of one Japanese share, whereas N T D O Y represents one eighth of a share, making it more accessible for purchase due to its decreased price, while providing for greater liquidity.

[Slowly get more helpless] And with that, you now have the sum knowledge of the average business undergrad. You can practically say “I went to college!”, all without having to have spent thousands of dollars and years of your life on subject matter that couldn’t interest you in the slightest, all for a career pathway that you are certain you don’t belong in, having your spirit and soul slowly turned into ash, crushed, by a culture and job that embraces monotony and exploitation, until there is nothing left of you, at which point, you are simply discarded and replaced by someone else, deemed also to be, expendable. 

[Back to normal] The developments to Nintendo’s stock price currently do not appear to affect the performance of competitors Sony or Microsoft, as these two have operations that are not exclusive to the video game industry. It remains uncertain if other publishers and rights holders within the games industry will follow with a similar copyright enforcement policy. Furthermore, it is unknown if this will become a practice seen in other media and entertainment industries, or beyond. As is usually the case when a handful of investors make large amounts of money for doing absolutely nothing, these gains have come at the expense of others. In this particular instance, the “others” may represent not only a sizeable portion of Nintendo’s passionate fanbase and the broader gaming community, but also, anyone even remotely interested in maintaining their human and cultural rights.

More to come soon, but before then, I would like to take a brief moment to apologize. Many frequent listeners may notice that the pacing of today’s show is a bit different than usual. A quintessential segment, of “VG Radio” not yet occurred. While we are attempting to maintain our familiar formatting, reporting important, breaking news is a priority for us here at VG Radio, assuming of course that that news is Video Game related. That said, we will now take a moment to rectify this issue by giving you what you expected to hear: Today’s Horoscopes!

Aries: Play Outer Wilds!

Taurus: Play… Outer Wilds. [Slower]

Gemini: Play.. Hmm…

Do these all just say “Play Outer Wilds”? Yes… yes they do. That’s odd. This has to be a misprint, right? I highly doubt that the stars would insist every single person to play outer wilds. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s a great game and you should play it (at least, I’ve heard it’s a great game), but this just seems… odd… OH! My apologies everyone, this appears to be the horoscope for May 28, 2024, when Outer Wilds celebrates its fifth anniversary. I’ve still no idea how this got here, but now here are today’s horoscopes.

Aries: Get over yourself Aries. Seriously.

Taurus: Play- [audible exhale] play Outer Wilds. 

Gemini: Although there will come a day where you and your friends will play Minecraft for the very last time, that shouldn’t suggest that that day has already passed. Give your friends a call and ask them if they’re free and want to play. They’ve likely been meaning to ask you the same question for a while now, but had felt awkward about asking.

Cancer: I hardly know ‘er.

Leo: After buying so many games, don’t you think it’s finally time to get around to playing some of them? You can’t take them with you when you die, and though you can’t take the experiences they provide either, you’ll at least be able to hold onto those memories until your consciousness ceases to exist, whether that be through the complete death of the body, or a slow decay of the mind.

Virgo: Pokemon Veer-go the hell outside for once and touch some grass. Damn. Goddamn. Get a job or something.

Libra: The stars are in your favor tonight. Though you’ve been trying to get a number one victory royal all week, you’ve always come just short of grabbing it. Give it another go tonight, you might find that things turn out differently.

Scorpio: If you’ve already played Celeste, it’s too late. While “programming” socks are available on sites like Amazon dot com, consider purchasing from a more inclusive retailer such as sock dreams dot com, where your money won’t go to a rich man who has an unfathomable amount of wealth, yet does little to improve the world around him despite having the incredible potential to do so. Please note, that the stars have no financial interest in any sock or garment related company, or any interest in capitalism.. at all! The stars do however say “Fuck you Jeff Bezos” and implore you to say the same.

Sagittarius: You are smarter and more well-liked than you think you are. Take a moment to pause today to try to see yourself as you really are, and not just how you perceive yourself to be.

Aquarius: That game that you are missing is under your desk, coated in dust and hair making it rather difficult to initially see. Try giving your work area a bit of a clean.

Pisces: [Sternly] Stop taking people’s games out of their cases and putting them under people’s desks. It’s not funny when months go by and someone becomes convinced that they’ve lost or misplaced something with zero recollection.

Those of you whose birthdays fall between the 22nd of December and the 19th of January, the Capricorns, may find that your reading was missed from today’s horoscopes. The Capricorn reading has been removed as a part of the base horoscope, but can be purchased as an additional DLC for $19.99 to get the full experience.

Today’s lucky numbers are 4, 20, and 69. As usual.

Protests have already been formed around the Nintendo of America office building in Redmond, Washington, and we’ve received word that similar demonstrations are developing at Nintendo’s other international offices, though this has yet to be confirmed. We are furthermore currently unable to confirm if Nintendo’s new policy will be enforceable by countries with differing copyright regulations. For that, we once again invite you to tune in to your local or national VG Radio news station. Hundreds of people are now outside the Nintendo of America office building, with some carrying signs that read “Oppression Against Gamers is REAL, NintenDON’T continue with this Idiocy, You Thought JOYCON Drift was bad?, Breath of the Why are you Doing This” and simply, “Fuck You.” Others are carrying signs that depict drawings of Nintendo’s characters, likely in an act of direct retaliation and defiance against Nintendo, and the broader copyright law.

And while some may argue that this is typical gamer entitlement at play, and that the issue will be forgotten about when Nintendo reveals or releases new game, others are taking the cause of these protests much more seriously. Various human and cultural rights advocates have joined in, expressing their disdain for Nintendo’s Handling of its Intellectual Property protection. Janette R. Williams, the Advocacy Manager for the “Americans for the Arts” organization, is in attendance, and has forwarded the station her following statement:

“The desire to create, is the desire to be human. The desire, to be alive. Any organization, group, or person that attempts to stifle these fundamental rights, is effectively devoid of humanity. Today, believers of creativity and humanity stand, Among Us, here at Redmond, Washington. If Nintendo believes that they can restrict the creation of art, allowing only items that have been carefully screened by a corporate entity, then who knows what else they’ll believe themselves able to do.

We may be standing at the precipice of a long, deep, slippery slope, and today’s actions may become the stumble that pushes us towards the inhumane sterilization of the creative spirit. We must, hold on.”

I imagine that you all listening-in might have your own thoughts on the matter as well, and we will soon open up the phone lines to receive your calls. But before we do that, how about that song I mentioned earlier. You’re listening, to VG Radio.

[MUSIC starts playing but is abruptly cut off after a few seconds with an Emergency Alert System Announcement]

[Play EAS tone]

This is a message from the Emergency Alert System, issued by Unity Technologies, on behalf of the United States Department of Defense. We are asking that all households with access to the internet, and a stationary or portable computer, to please turn on these devices and ensure that they are connected to the internet.

Once the device is on, and a connection to the internet has been established, please go to www dot Unity dot com, slash, download. Again, once the device is on, and a connection to the internet has been established, please go to www dot Unity dot com, slash, download. If at any point you need assistance with these instructions, please attempt to find someone who is able to navigate computers, and ask them for assistance.

Once on www dot Unity dot com, slash, download, follow the steps on screen to download the “Unity Hub”, and initiate Unity installation. Select the appropriate download that corresponds to your device. Again, once on www dot Unity dot com, slash, download, follow the steps on screen to download the “Unity Hub”, and initiate Unity installation. Select the appropriate download that corresponds to your device. If your device is not shown on the list, we ask that you instead attempt to provide others with assistance should they need it.

Please wait for the file to be downloaded.

Once the download has finished, please open the Unity Hub Setup File that was downloaded. In conjunction with the United States Department of Defense, the Unity Hub Setup File now has an accelerated and simplified installation process. Once the file is opened, it will run a scan of your computer and install the most optimal version of Unity based on your computer’s specifications.

Please note that the “Unity Hub Setup” will install the most optimized version of Unity based on a deep scan of your computer. All of the information collected during the scanning of your computer will be securely transferred to the United States Department of Defense for processing. We thank you for your assistance in keeping our country safe and secure. This has been a message from the Emergency Alert System, issued by Unity Technologies, on behalf of the United States Department of Defense.

[EAS tone out] 

[Hard Cut to MUSIC] 

That was Requiem from the ULTRAKILL soundtrack. There’s more music coming your way, but first, an update! During today’s first song, I had managed to finish my drawing of Maid Link, and I already submitted it to the Nintendo Department of Licensing for public posting approval. We still don’t have any word as to what the penalties are for prematurely posting a work before this final approval is obtained, and while I pride myself on being an in-depth, investigative journalist, I’d prefer to not find out the hard way as to what these penalties really are. Given how today’s events are unfolding, I suspect we’ll find out relatively soon…

Until then, the next song we have queued up is a bit of a hidden gem, I’ll of course tell you what it is once it’s over, but see if you can recognize it out before then. Here is - 

… One moment… We have just been informed that police have arrived at the Nintendo of America office building. In… usual fashion, what was originally a lawful and organized protest, has had a dramatic rise in tension following the arrival of armed law enforcement. We are receiving word that the officials are wasting no time in confronting the protestors, and …. Arrests have already been made. From what we are able to gather, it seems as though the police are prioritizing the arrests of those protestors carrying signs that feature Nintendo iconography.

It is currently unknown if these arrests are directly related to violations of Nintendo’s updated IP policies. We would like to take a moment to remind our listeners that Nintendo’s new IP policy forbids unauthorized drawings and other forms of visual imagery that contain any reference to Nintendo’s Intellectual Properties.

Strangely enough, one person who is currently being confronted by police has a sign that features a drawing of a cat bell. While we are uncertain as to why this particular arrest is occurring, we speculate that it may be because the drawing of the cat bell is seen as a reference to the “Lucky Bell” powerup from Super Mario 3D World, both of which belong to Nintendo. This however is just speculation, if we find out more we will of course provide you with the appropriate updates, corrections, and apologies.

Before we go any further, I do want to highlight something that may be of grave importance to many, if not all, of us. Today on VG Radio we have reported a lot of news regarding the developing story around Nintendo’s Intellectual properties. And, while it is our job first and foremost to report Video Game related news as accurately as possible, we feel that it is also our duty to invite you to think critically about the news we report, rather than simply take it at face value. What lies beyond, the then current and relevant story?

Today, Nintendo has begun what may effectively be described as an attack on the arts, an attack, on the human expression. How far will this go? How far will we let them go? Today it is a ban on unauthorized artwork. Tomorrow? Who’s to say. For all we know, Nintendo may very well issue an additional policy that prevents us from even looking at art without proper authorization in the first place…

Our phone lines will open shortly. 

As you take a moment to gather your thoughts, or, if you currently find yourself lost in a sea of ideas, here is today’s moment of reflection. You may perhaps find that it can provide you with some sense of direction.

In an unassuming, and seemingly average suburban home, lived a man named John. John lived alone, save for his beloved cat, and dearest dog. It was a quiet life. Tranquil, and peaceful. At least, to the outsider. In reality, there never was a dull day in the unassuming, suburban home. John’s two pets always seemed to be up to something. If he was asked, John might have jokingly referred to them as “dubious little creatures getting up to mischief.” But it was all good.

Despite the rather curious characteristics of his pets, John loved them. John was happy.

One day, the three were going about their business in the kitchen, as usual. John was preparing dinner, his dog eagerly following behind every step, and his cat simply loafing around. As John was sprinkling the last bit of shredded cheese onto a beautifully crafted lasagna, John had noticed a slight movement from the corner of his eye. He turned to see that his cat, a rather large orange tabby, had perked his head up. “You okay Garfield?” John asked his cat, in that soft voice often heard when someone speaks to their pets. “Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?” asked the ever inquisitive Garfield. “Hmm. Why DO they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?”

Neither John, nor Garfield said anything for a few moments, each trying to find an answer to this rather peculiar question. Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?

After a few moments of comfortable, thoughtful silence, John spoke up: “Well Garfield, I’m not sure WHY they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food, but honestly, I think that’s fine! Sometimes, the important thing is simply the ability to stop and ask questions in the first place, regardless of how simple or complex they may seem. Regardless, if we can find an answer for them or not.”

This has been today’s moment of reflection. Take a moment to stop, observe, and ask. On that note, we have a few callers who have taken the time to absorb today’s reporting, and we’ll be putting them through now:

[INSERT AUDIO GIVEN BY GUESTS]

Thank you all for your… wonderful contributions.

During our community call-ins, we received an official report outlining the punishments for those who prematurely post a piece of visual work before it is reviewed by Nintendo’s Department of Licensing and approved for public posting. Per this report, such an action would be identified as a breach of contract, subject to a $15,000 fine, certain court litigation, and, if damages are unable to be paid by the offending party, possible imprisonment, on grounds of the distribution of copyright infringing material.

[Long Pause]

I have also just received a statement from the Redmond, Washington Sherriff’s Department. Let’s see… Well… It appears as though the Redmond Police Department was in fact, NOT responsible for the arrests made during today’s protests, nor were they present at the time we reported this news. On behalf of the VG Radio team, I would like to apologize to the members of the Redmond Police Department. The wonderful people putting their lives on the line every day to… keep people safe, would NEVER do something as heinous as infringe on the peoples rights to protest, while simultaneously showcasing a clear discrimination in what causes or groups the broader police force may rally behind. They would NEVER… I would also like to apologize to the listeners of VG Radio, for the accidental release of misinformation. We had incorrectly assumed that the arrests of individuals were attributed to the police department. While we now know that that is not the case, we are unsure then as to who was behind the arrests.

As we try to make sense of this, let’s take a look at sports.

The Overwatch League has now announced the introduction of the Overwatch League Two. This is described by the organization as being “a new and improved competitive experience that aims to draw in new spectators and players, serving as a compliment to the Overwatch League One as opposed to being a complete replacement.” The Overwatch League Two has announced new competitive venues in Austin, Texas, and New York City, with plans for expansion into other countries based on an analysis from the “Blizzard Country Diversification Tool.” Currently existing venues such as those in Burbank, California, will see continued operations, but with an eight hour time difference, and updated lighting.

We appear to have an update on the arrests that occurred earlier today. A representative for Nintendo’s Legal Department spoke out to local media outlets, claiming that the company had established a new department of paid volunteers dedicated to enforcing the copyright policies outlined by Nintendo. When asked if this enforcement included the arrest and detainment of individuals who violate those policies, the representative simply stated “Of course.” Immediately, the reporters were sent into a flurry, frantically talking over one another, until one of them had managed to ask the representative, “How does Nintendo have a right to conduct and enforce the arrests of private citizens”, to which the representative responded: 

“Arrests are conducted by volunteer private citizens who share a mutual love and respect for the integrity of the Nintendo brand. The violation of our copyright policies is a violation of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, and an infringement of general copyright law. As these items are considered to be felonies under U.S. law, concerned, private citizens have a legal right to perform a Citizens Arrests on those identified to have a committed such felonies. No matter the situation, those found to be in violation of our copyright policies will be subject to official court administered fines, litigation, and arrests.

Another frenzy of overlapping and worried reporters occurred, but this time going unacknowledged by the representative. The representative continued: 

Because the Nintendo brand means so much to not only us, but to millions of families across the world as well, we will now be taking additional steps to ensure that the strength of the Nintendo IP will remain pristine and unmuddied by those with questionable intentions. After coming across this wonderful suggestion from a concerned Video Game related news broadcast…, Nintendo will now treat the viewing of unauthorized visual work, as an engagement in piracy, subject to a $1,000 fine, and possible court litigation. We here at Nintendo are incredibly proud of our passionate communities, and encourage anyone to report the viewing of unauthorized artwork and other SUSpicous actions to the newly established Nintendo Network of Internal Negotiations and Jeopardized Asset Security. Those who unwillingly become exposed to unauthorized artwork, may avoid penalties by self-reporting these occurrences, provided that adequate details are supplied.”

I… oh geez… We’ll get back to this in just a moment.

[INSERT GUEST AD]

Listeners of VG Radio, while things are incredibly… confusing… at the moment, I have a bit of good news to share. Some of you may know that I am fascinated by cosplay, though admittedly I’m not very good at it myself. BUT, today, after much back and forth, I’ve managed to get my absolute favorite cosplayer of all time, SneakyLOL, for an interview. We’ll be talking about helpful tips to push your cosplay to the next level, and how to get started with cosplay if you’re new to it or are interested in giving it a try.

Personally, I think it’s just absolutely incredible seeing how people manage to get characters from a media that they love, out into the real world. There’s a whole lot of passion and love put into these creative projects, and there’s just something really endearing about the sincerity of it. Even if you attempt a cosplay and it doesn’t completely work out and you feel that it’s ”ugly”, your love of the media and willingness to attempt to cosplay in the first place, is irreplaceably beautiful. Don’t ever, let anyone take that away from you. Besides, you can always try - again. 

Oh, I see someone at the door, that must be him! Today, we here at VG Radio, are excited to introduce world-renowned Cosplayer, and League of Legends pro, Sneaky L Ohhhh. Um, I apologize everyone, there must have been a bit of a misunderstanding.

“Sneaky”: Hey. 

Stevie: You’re not… Sneaky. 

“Sneaky": I sneaked in here didn’t I? 

Stevie: … Please get out. 

“Sneaky”: I don’t have anything else going on, please, just let me- ! [Interrupted] 

Stevie: Get. Out! 

“Sneaky”: … Fine. Whatever. 

Stevie: [About to cry] Let’s…. let’s take an ad break… 

If you’ve listened to VG Radio, odds are you probably know that we reaaally hate unrestricted capitalism that allows a wealthy elite to oppress the working class. Unfortunately however, we currently have no other choice to but to partake in these systems, as we push for policies and change that restore the gross imbalance of power and wealth.

As such, while we used to have the luxury of being highly selective in the sponsors we worked with, recent events have made it such that we can no longer be as selective. With that in mind - 

[Tone Shift] 

You might be aware that Amazon Prime gives you access to: 

- Free, two day shipping 

- TV, movie, and music streaming 

- A wide assortment of books with audible narration 

- And free GrubHub delivery, for a whole year 

But, if you love this show, and would like to help us out but aren’t exactly sure how, Amazon Prime has you covered. Earlier in the year we announced plans to make VG Radio even more accessible, by bringing it to new platforms. And as of today, as of this very episode, we are now broadcasting live on Twitch dot TV. So, here’s why we’re talking about Amazon Prime: 

Once a month, you get access to a free monthly channel subscription on Twitch dot TV, that you can use to support us, at no cost to you. If you’re already on Twitch, just click below the bottom right corner of the screen where it says “Subscribe”, click the box that says “Use Prime Sub”, and then click “Subscribe with Prime”. 

And, that’s it. With just three clicks, you’ve done an incredible amount to support the show. Every little bit of support means so much to us here at VG Radio. It’s because of you that we’re still able to broadcast after the fire burned down our previous studio. 

But no matter what happens, VG Radio will always be made free and accessible to the public. You can still support VG Radio by watching or listening along, and sharing it with the people you know – that does a whole lot more than you think it does. Thank you again for your continued support, and now, back to the show.

I’d like to apologize to the listeners of VG Radio. What happened earlier was an outburst that was unprofessional and unnecessary, and I sincerely apologize for allowing my emotions to get the better of me. Tensions are currently high here at VG Radio, though I imagine that it must also be like that for all you, elsewhere. In these moments of fear, and uncertainty, let us take a quick moment of respite, with some music. I had been informed earlier that our previous attempts to broadcast music today had been repeatedly interrupted. While we cannot go back in time to fix even the most minor and mundane of issues, we can take steady steps forward, to address whatever issues we may have at present. You’re listening, to VG Radio. 

[MUSIC starts playing again. Audible phone rings in rhythm to the music].

We appear to have a call on the emergency broadcast line, one moment.

[Song stops.] You’re on the air.

[INSERT EDITED CLIP OF SCREAMS] 

It’s been a while since we’ve had one of those. For those of you unsure of what just happened, we here at VG Radio have setup an emergency broadcast line to be used in immediately developing events. Once that number is called, it reaches our receptionist who determines what the call is for and if the call merits a broadcast interruption. Given the dynamic nature of this emergency community reporting, it is sometimes the case where I unfortunately do not have any additional details on what just happened. This, is one of those days. Thankfully, our receptionist has the details that were initially provided by the caller. As always, we will post this and other relevant information to our website, over at VG Radio dot com [Lag before dot com] and give you an on air explanation as accurately as we can. We would like to issue a reminder that this broadcast line is NOT a substitute for emergency services. If you are in trouble, ensure your safety first and foremost before reaching out the emergency broadcast line.

Before we sign off for today, we have one last bit of news to share. Already, United States courts are beginning to challenge the authority and capability, of Nintendo to enact and enforce its recent updates to its policies. At the moment, the general consensus appears to be that Nintendo is acting incredibly irrational, unlawful, and unethical… much more than usual… That said, we encourage everyone to tread lightly on matters that relate to Nintendo and its Intellectual Properties, until this issue is resolved or addressed further, as Nintendo is likely to continue the attempted protection of its copyrights.

We will continue to closely monitor this situation, and as always, we will do our best to keep you informed and up to date. But for now, that will be it from me. Thank you as always, for tuning in to VG Radio. I’ll see you next time, but until then, have a great day, take care of yourself, and stay hydrated.

This has been, VG Radio…

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